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UTS Hockey Club 2005
Novelty Awards
First Aid
Thirsty - Katie Watson
Glow in the dark sunburn; she should have used some of sphincters sunscreen.
Sarah Perkins
Broken thumb, then season ending ACL tear to her
knee after just returning from the broken thumb
3 weeks prior!! Sarah was also lucky enough to
be able to watch her team become joint premiers
on crutches.
Pennie Graham
Scored the winning goal of prelim final with seconds to spare. Was so excited she jumped into the air and sprained her ankle, almost ruling her out of the grand final.
Rozetta Payne
did a Zorba and snapped her Achilles. At least
she waited til the end of the season.
Adrian Washington
Made several fine efforts, including colliding with a Moorebank GK in the 1st round and head-butting the ball during training a few weeks later. Maybe his hairstyle is chosen to make it easier for the medics to stich him back up.
Winner - Sarah Perkins
Dummy Spit
Kankle - Claire Adamiak
For continually trying to have a dummy spit while gagged and escaping tribunal.
Lachlan Elmer
Spat the dummy out so far that he didn't even pick it up to go to the judiciary.
Jez Boyse
Consistency is an important characteristic for everyone. One day, Jez might even be consistently on the field rather than in the sin-bin.
PK
Hockey stick regularly enters dugout before he does.
Burnsie
At a Teppenyaki restaurant, the chef throws food at you, NOT SUPPOSED to be the other way around.
Winner - Jezza
Woosey Milk Scull
MJ - Sally Dunstun
As quoted from the tomb "scribe thinks scribing
is a &*^%ed job". Shortly after a replacement
scribe was needed halfway through tribunal as
the writing was illegible. During the last night
her absence was noted at the team dinner, a failed
attempt at the small person challenge.
Sphincter - Boris Lossy
After many gagging orders only one bottle of red consumed through a straw was enough to make him drive the porcelain bus from the back seat, and had no money to get home. At the game he used a new form of sunscreen, is your face burning form embarrassment, or just the deep heat?
Alf - James Scavera
ALF was an Angry little *&^%er After arriving home at 4am and found that a big boy Tooney was fast asleep having his much beloved nana-nap Alf was not happy with this so he was screaming at him to have a beer and told him that he was old and soft. And rightly so, you can sleep when your dead.
Gooey - Mark Brettnall
Packing up toys and stick half way through season and finishing hockey all together.
Phantom - Amelia Kelly
Whilst sober she tried to open a bottle of beer on the gutter by smashing the neck open and slicing the palm of her hand. Micro surgery was required the next day to reattach her drinking muscles.
Winner - Gooey
Golden Spade
Corbo - Andrew Thyrd
Named after the clubs biggest Golden Spade Bob Cat (BC), Corbo was putting the spade to excessive and constant use as if it were an extension of his own body. By the end of the second night, the Golden Spade had the taste of 1000 asses.
Dill - Kate Debenham
At the first managers meeting, there was a romantic
interlude of hangman with a Sydney Uni hockey
boy .. mhup mhup. However, the bathtub wasn't
as lucky after a failed conversion with the sink.
"Daswaschbeuken waz zu hoch deschalb mubte
ich die badewanne benutzen"
Giggles - Gemma Hartman
Consistent repetition over the years with inanimate objects, after a failed conversion with a witch’s hat in Perth last year, she continued a fruitless attempt in Bris Vegas with a pole covered in carpet.
Zorba - Paul Economides
The old saying "Old hockey players don't
get old, they just forget their age" rang
true in Bris Vegas. "How old am I" he
was locked out of his own room on the last night
by a small boy who picked up before him. Even
though he may only look 26, "Zorba hat eine
feuchte muschi".
Thirsty - Katie Watson
For her efforts at uni games in Tamworth with
the ugliest lead singer in history. "Someday,
someday I will be the one babe"
Winner - Corbo
Bush Pig
Sparky - Adrienne Ling
This one has to be a winner! I’ve even made a little poem to wrap it all up. She got back with an ex on her balcony. The next night she pashed a chick from Deakin University for $10. Then the next night hooking up with Tooney, a twice winner of the bush pig award in which they finally got married on the last night of tribunal. Then night before, on her hens night, she was hooking into Mary.
On a balcony, then a chick from Deakin
Wasn't really what Sparky was seekin;
Even with Mary she tried being a swinger
But finally married last years bush pig winner
Rimer's Mum
Kindly nominated by the Uni Games boys.
Paddo - Hannah Law
Showed-off her form in the fertile fields of Tamworth, and wasted little time at Brisbane with offers from uni boys Australia-wide
Winner - Sparky
Beer Fish
Tooney - Carl Strautins
While showing Turtle the golden river leading
into the tumultuous sea of love, Tooney had an
out of mind-body experience. Similar to being
hit by a taxi on his drinking preparation for
uni-games? Thirsty quenched the drought through
a nightly reading. "Jamand hat an mein bein
gepisst".
Mary - Belinda Hemsley-Wilken
"I'm very proud of what KD Lang has done
for my kind of people"
Lapdog - Cameron Ward
Feeling a bit tipsy after tribunal, Lapdog had
a little vomit, and then decided to replace the
void. Arriving back to bed he fell asleep with
an ice-cream in his hand. On the last night he
was duly escorted out of the showground for sipping
a little too much. Lapdog, here's a tip from
the big boys, kebabs don't melt!
Sniffles - Michael Wark
The excitement of winning gold in Tamworth obviously got too much for young Sniffles. He was being assisted back to the motel almost as soon as he saw the pub.
Nicole Davies
Old Kiwi proverb: She who drinks most, locates
floor by end of night
Winner - Tooney
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